INSIDE LIGHTS
ENGLISH
The poems in this book all come from my own emotions and thoughts. It deals with diverse themes such as heartbreak, self-acceptance, ect.... The title Inside Lights therefore represents the inner lights and shadows in someones head or heart. Enjoy!
NEDERLANDS
De gedichten in dit boek komen allemaal vanuit eigen emoties en gedachtes. Het gaat over uiteenlopende thema's zoals liefdesverdriet, zelfacceptatie, ect... De titel Inside Lights staat dan ook voor de innerlijke lichten en schaduwen in iemands hoofd of hart. Enjoy!
1. Empty Space
Tears are dripping down my cheeks
while I'm trying to glue the pieces of my heart back together.
It has become harder and harder to not fall down in the massive hole of darkness. I'm focusing on the lights in my life, trying to reach the sunshine when I open my eyes. But even when I'm climbing on the top of a mountain it stays dark some days.
The feeling of joy and happiness goes away in a finger snap. A tsunami of depressing thoughts takes over my brain.
Am I worth staying on this turning planet?
Am I worth living while I'm feeling like the trash from the streets.
2. Burning Fingertips
I walk down the long, dark way of thoughts.
Seeing a bright light, shimmering in the black hole of life.
My eyes open and I feel a wave of goodness entering my body.
My whole body shines, my fingertips start burning. The strong light has entered my body.
Is it staying here?
Or will the dark demon take over during this period of deadness.
3. Thousand Pieces
A rock hits the thin glass out of nowhere. Thousand pieces fly around the space and hide themselves in every corner. The sturdy glass broke.
It's waiting to be fixed again.
It is waiting to be complete again and shine bright in the light of the sun.
It's waiting for the moment in which all the pieces will be back together and the window will feel like itself again. Happy and proud, full of self love.
But for now it's still broken and I'm the window.
4. The Words
who is saying it first, 3 words that's all
Is it you, is it me
Or are we both going to fall into the darkness. Is that where we belong. No that can't be true. Our love is so strong. It is so simple but also so hard
3 words and that's all
I
love
you
Now it's your turn, come on
5. Darkness
And then it is there.
The moment that you watch death in the eyes. You're standing still on the street at night. Your friend is there and death walks by.
It stops.
It climbs through your body, through your friend's body. It's hanging above you. It attacks. You feel your heart bouncing in your throat. You run faster than the light. You run until the death is gone
It's gone.
You find your friend, kneel and give your warmth to him. You hug him, under the stars of the night's darkness. Then the lights go back into our bodies. The safe space we want has returned.
We move, waiting for the next death to attack.
6. Safe Arms
His arms go around my body.
His hands touch my back.
His arms feel like walls from safety. They keep me in a space where I'm free to live. It's the best feeling you can get. But then it's gone. The safe space has been lost and I feel the pressure of the outside world falling on my back.
It's back, his arms, his hands, the space, the safety.
We are hugging in the darkness of the night. Under the light of the stars.
I'm never letting him go. My safe space
7. Glass View
I stare at the endless view of the glass.
A dark shadow comes up, flying around my view. It shows the bad things, everything that's bad, that I want to change. The shadow feels like a coat for my soul, nothing more.
I don't want to carry this shadow around the world
I don't want to live in it
I'm staring at the view of my body in the mirror
My shadow
Me
8. Shine Of Myself
I feel the gold shining warmth falling on my skin. It teases my entire body.
It feels good.
From my head until the tip of my toes. I feel it everywhere. It crawls into my skin, into my body so deep. It takes over my soul.
I start shining, bright, golden and light.
I feel like the whole world is part of me. It's all for me.
I can handle everything, I feel like a Greek god on his throne.
Then it fades away, the dark, cold feelings come back. The god falls from his throne into the deepest end of darkness.
My Self Love it's gone
9. Box Of Eyes
I'm sitting in a box.
A dark and lonely box.
Then I see something bright, it's an eye.
and another one,
and another one.
Thousands of eyes fill the walls from the box, staring into my soul. I feel like an animal in the zoo. It's killing me. I try to look away but in every corner there is an eye. I close mine, very hard, I don't want to open them anymore.
They open.
The bright light of the sun falls on my face. I'm on the ground with all these people around me.
Looking,
staring,
eyes
10. Heart Crime
They killing us
why?
They slapping us
why?
They hate on us
why?
They yell at us
why?
Because we love